groundhog baby

a discussion on groundhog's day in the world of first grade.....

Student: "Mrs. Bryant, do you love Groundhog's day?"
Me: "Yes. Especially this year because my friend had a Groundhog's Day baby"
Student: "YOUR FRIEND HAD A GROUNDHOG?!?!
Student 2:"That's really weird, but really cool!"

roses are red, violets are blue, I got water just for YOU!

Student: "Mrs. Bryant, I have a secret to tell you, but don't tell my mom I told you." 

Me: "Okay."

Student: "My mom asked me what you like and I said, "Water", so I got you water for your Valentine's gift."

Looks like I'm really going to be scoring big this Valentine's 

desert drama

Me: "You know, Mrs. Bryant used to live in the desert"

Student: "Woah, how did you even survive?!?!?!"

burrito honesty

Me: "Please sit criss-cross"

Student: "There is no way you can expect me to sit criss-cross after a bean burrito."

daddy's cooking

a student raising hand and completely changing the subject matter.....

"Mrs. Bryant, my dad makes really bad hamburgers. Please don't tell him I said that"

leadership

during leadership week (where my students study how to be a good leader):

Me: "Wow, look at C (our new student). He is modeling such good leadership"

Student: "Well, maybe they already had leadership week at his old school!"

oreo survival

on the very first day of school........

"Mrs. Bryant, if you get sick of us, I've got some Oreos in my lunchbox you can have"

honesty

student 1: "Mrs. Bryant, the prettiest teacher of them all!"

student 2: "Well........."

ouch. oh the joys kindergarten honesty.

violent red

a table of kids was arguing over whether a crayon was red or pink....

Me: "Why don't you read the name of the crayon on the side"

Student (reads it to himself and looks puzzled): "Violent red?"

there you have it, violent red is the new violet red :)

last names

a student attempted to read the the school name in the cafeteria and couldn't quite figure out why there were two words (school name and mascot) She looked up at me and said....

"Um...does our school have a last name?"

these boots are made for walking

"Mrs. Bryant, I like the way you walk in those boots. You're kind of like Puss in Boots...only a little cuter."

the butcher

talking about parents' professions:

Student 1: "My mom kills pigs"

Student 2: "She's the big bad wolf!?!?!?"

hot date

"Mrs. Bryant....sometimes when you dress up nice, and I mean REALLY nice, which is a lot, I kinda think you are going on a hot date or something."

ancient 2011

while reading a book about the american flag....

Me: "Oh wow, look! This flag is from a LONG time ago?"
Student: "Like 2011?"

next to = nice to

Scenario: A math lesson on the locational term "next to" with my ELL (English Language Learners)

Me: "Boys and girls, please stand next to the table"
Students: "Next to meet you Mrs. Bryant!"

gassy lassy

Me: "What kind of job does your dad have?"
Student: He sells gas...and no, not the kind you are thinking of!"

cristobal colon

during a discussion on Christopher Columbus....

Me: "the three boats were La Pinta, La Nina, and La Santa Maria"
Student: "the boats speak Spanish like us!?!?!? Wowwwww"

Mr. Water

Afterschool, the sprinklers were spraying where I usually stand with the kiddos and one of my kids was getting soaking wet."

Me: "Hey buddy, come stand over here instead, where the water feels just like a mister."
Student: "I didn't know water was a man"
Me: "What?"
Student: "Well you just called water a Mr."

eat day...i mean...earth day

I showed the kiddos a brief clip from an educational website about Earth Day and how important it is to take care of the Earth....

Me: "In the video, the young girl us telling how important it is to...."
Student (shouting out): EAT!

I was hoping someone would shout out "how important it was to take care of the Earth, but clearly someone had food on their mind.

Spring Break

A student took Spring "Break" a little too literally

Me: "How was your Spring Break?"

Student: "Well, it was ok, but I didn't break anything."

forget the teacher

"Mrs. Bryant, I don't actually have to listen to what you say. Anytime I want to learn, all I have to do is daydream about it and my brain teaches me it."

memories

We were discussing times we had been lost before....A students confused aisle with the word island"

"One time I got lost in island 3. Oh boy. Island 3. I'll never forget that island."

the mac apple

Student (while looking at a Mac computer): "So, Mrs. Bryant, who do you think took the bite out of that apple?"

Me: "Steve Jobs?"

Student: "Oh, ok!"

career day

my wonderful husband came in for career day yesterday....

"Mrs. Bryant, I was not expecting your husband to be that handsome."

(Someone has low standards for their teacher. haha)

just gooble it

Student 1: "Selena Gomez is Justin Bieber's girlfriend"

Student 2: "NOOOO, they broke up a long time ago. It's all over the internet. Just gooble it"

That's right friends, just "gooble" it.